Myths and Truths About Therapy
Mental health is a shared experience, affecting us all. I think what keeps many of us away from therapy are a combination of the things that keep us from the dentist or doctor, or any other health dealer, like-false confidence, the unkowns, and myths. By challenging stigma and misinformation we can have better conversations about wellness and the benefits of therapy.
Therapy is an opportunity to find out about You. I was recently apart of a conversation where people were encouraged to speak openly and honestly about themselves, a middle-aged woman shared that she didn’t know herself. When asked if she’d ever considered therapy she casually joked-“We don’t do that.” This is a barrier worthy of its own discussion.
The reasons we don’t do therapy are plenty. If you’re on the fence about engaging/re-engaging therapy, let me address some of the myths that might be creating the ambivalence. If you’ve ever attempted therapy, know that I had a Client that attempted 7x before finding the right person. I was number 6. We don’t always get it right, therapist or Client. My hope is that this discussion brings clarity and alleviates any barriers that might be keeping you from the support you need to meet/grow your Self.
Myth 1: I don’t need therapy. It won’t do any good.
Reality: Yes, you do need therapy. We all do. With the right mind and effort, therapy can do unimaginable good. If you understand that therapy is a healing conversation, you will agree that the world needs more of it. When we say “I’m good”, when we’re not, we’re programming ourselves to be okay functioning in the dysfunction, and to defend against help. What happens to therapy deferred? For your mind, spirit, and body, it’s the same as ignoring a toothache, or a nagging cough. The littlest things can fester into significant threats to wellness. The most honest cliché-therapy doesn’t work if you don’t. We all need a person that we trust enough to talk/work through our dysfunctions. If you don’t have a person, therapists are ready, willing, and able. If your person/therapist failed you, that’s a sign that they weren’t the right person for you. Blame the experience not the practice. There’s supposedly 8 billion people in the world; give it a few tries before you call it quits.
Myth 2: They will think that I’m crazy.
Reality: Yes, your person will think that you are crazy. Your therapist too, but in in the way that Lewis Carroll wrote it-“We’re all mad here”. Mental health is a spectrum ranging from our worst to best self. Truth is-the crazy ones are the ones that haven’t yet realized that they too are crazy. There’s no experience that is reserved for just you. I promise. Seriously, mental health is a shared experience. Your experiences/needs/traumas are not all that unique. Whatever you’re going through someone has survived. There’s a saying-“…those that matter won’t mind.” Like a really good Therapists, your person should practice unconditional positive regard. No matter what dilemma, thought, or maladaptive behavior you present with a good therapist knows that you are not your affliction(s). A really awesome therapist will 1) help you to accept your crazy and 2) learn to manage your crazy so that it doesn’t disrupt your quality of life.
Myth 3: They will fix me.
Reality: Some show up to be fixed while others avoid being fixed. While therapist have been referred to as magicians, they don’t fix people. Only you can “fix” you. Therapy is the process of exploring problem areas and discovering strategies to address those areas. Caution: therapy is not a one-time or 3 time fix. On average, it takes at least 3 sessions to establish a therapeutic rapport. The real work doesn’t typically start until session 3. By the third session the Client and Clinician are 1) done testing each other, 2) comfortable talking to each other, 3) confident that they can work productively together, 4) are committed to the change process. The truth is-You don’t need fixing, but your habits might.
Myth 4: Therapy is too expensive.
Reality: Think of all the insurances you pay monthly-oral, physical, property, etc. Are any of those things more valuable than your mental health? This reminds me of being a young clinician speaking with a wealthy Client who lost all of her belongings through power of attorney while being psychiatrically hospitalized. What is the value for wellness? Truth is-there are plenty cost effective means to access therapy. Many insurance providers cover mental health treatment. When they won’t cover therapy directly, you could receive therapy bundled in community based psych care. If you work, check to see if your employer provides EAP services. This typically gives you a handful of free counseling services through a third party provider. For the uninsured, seek out providers that provide sliding scale services. Alternatively, there are donation based providers around that will allow you to pay what you can. There’s a church that I visit in South Charlotte that employs member therapists for the benefit of the congregation. This is a free option that I believe should be modeled by all religious institutions. If none of these options work, talk to grandma or the friend that gives honest, unbiased advice.
Myth 5: Therapy is for White people.
Reality: At the forefront of American mainstream psychotherapy was the White European male thought. Through decades of advocacy and being fed up-Clients and Clinicians have grown the opinions, leaders, and treatments on mental health. The profession is more diverse and Clinicians are better trained, sensitive, and competent in working with individuals of differing demographics. While we understand that therapy happens far away from traditional helping spaces, there has been a significant increase in the representation of minority/underrepresented demographics in traditional therapeutic spaces. To make it about color-historically and presently speaking-Black/Brown/Ebony people have a right and a need to therapy; there are generations of systemic traumas to unpack. Truth is-therapy doesn’t have a color. If you aren’t where/who you need to be and lack the clue/skills to get there, therapy is for you.
There are plenty of barriers to therapy; hopefully I’ve helped to make them a little easier to cross.
Demystifying the truth is - TherapeuticLiving.