7 + 1 Traps for Counselors to Avoid

This post is reserved primarily for my past Self, and newbie, or would be, therapeutic clinicians. Breathe. Before (during and after) you embark on this journey-breathe. You got this. You’ve done this. This is your shit. And nobody can tell you how to do your shit.

Counselor(s)-to (re)establish a therapeutic baseline-here are 7 + 1 traps to avoid along your journey:

1. You are NOT your credentials. Congratulations on your efforts, but they are just paper and ink.

2. You are NOT your office space in the city. However, do make it cozy.

3. You are NOT the weird esoteric clinical language that you use. You sound ridiculously smart, and that can be counterproductive.

4. You are NOT the earth toned cardigan that you wear. But, you should always look fly.

5. You are NOT your freudian iKea couch. Seven out of ten Clients will choose the chair. Save your money.

6. You are NOT all knowing. Perfection makes you more robotic than human. Clients want to speak with a human.

7. You are NOT responsible for fixing the world. Self-discovery is the best remedy. It will take Clients further than your assessment of them.

There’s this weird energy shift that happens from naturally doing a thing to unnaturally acting out the thing. I didn’t completely realize this phenomena until I experimented with cine-therapy-reconciling clinical experiences through filmmaking. What I discovered is-actors be acting. And they don’t always be selling it. Have you ever seen a White woman/man act as a Black/Indian/Spanish/Asian/Egyptian/Alien woman/man? Have you ever seen an actor sob profusely, without tears, snot bubbles, or drool?

After the 2nd attempt at producing a short film, I discovered-the “switch”. In the switch from casual Self to acting self an unnatural shift happens. Instead of being “the thing”, actors attempt to act like “the thing”. CUT! Like film directors, Counselors are looking for congruence-You being “the thing”-naturally. Feel, not behave.

Truth is-only the most seasoned, method, actors can pull off “acting”. And I have dicovered that I am NOT a good actor. I suck at acting like a therapist. Like novice actors, I wasn’t even aware of the shift. I would unconsciously shift from “cool, let’s problem-solve your life issue” to “blah blah blah credentials”…“blah blah DSM-V”…“blah clinical European White male jargon”.

Then I did Self work. And awareness happened. And I stopped acting. It became less about the prestige and personification of therapy and more about refocusing on why I pursued the profession-to help. There’s no acting when you’re doing the work. As one professor told me-people can’t pretend for too long, nor all that good.

Counselors, your Client(s) can feel when you’re disingenuous. Clients, your helping person/professional can tell when you’re faking. There, it needed to be said. Now, imagine how we might benefit each other with an unconditional, positive, and honest regard.

My past Self fell into all the traps. In the words of Lupe Fiasco-realize that your future is somebody else’s past. By the grace of the Counseling Gods-I have been delivert. Let this serve as a finger wag for all of us-newbie Counselor…would be Counselor…my past Counselor Self-no more bad acting. Be present. Be attentional. Be natural. Be Client, not professional, centered. Most importantly-be helpful.

No acting is - TherapeuticLiving.